:D

slowly over time i am forgetting
my heart no longer hurts and i no longer cry
when you tell me you're not coming back
i am starting not to care,
but i dont want to forget, i want to remember
remember all the good times but i realize that what i am missing is the memories
you promised we'd stay the same, you promised you'd come back
we promised to call.
all the promises are broken but i dont care
i still miss you and wish
you'd come home for Christmas

new blogger.
ill still use this one to write thoughts i guess from time to time but that one more
i like to move around :]

 i think i am getting sick.

i cant believe after all this time you can still make me feel this way;
inflicting this sadness in me that i can't seem to shake.
you make me feel extremely guilty for something i didn't even do
and at the same time angry at you for being so unreasonable and difficult
and yet despite al that, talking to you cheers me up, gives me something to look forward to
this halloween i will have known you for two years now
doesn't those two years mean anything to you?
why does it seem like we fight so much over misunderstandings

i hate it when people don't listen. you tell them it's not them but they keep thinking it is. its not like the world revolves around you. just because i'm sad doesn't mean you made me this way. it could just be that i have a lot going on or other problems to deal with. it really annoys me when people do this.  and in turn increases my sadness. 

So yesterday i found out that my mom has two tumors..since then everyday i pray at 11:11 that she will get better because i am nothing without her. when i think about it i get really sad..tears come. 

it seems nowadays i cry way to often. too emotional?
and i found myself wishing that he was here to talk to
to tell my problems to, but how can i 
now that he's hundreds of miles away
and doesn't have the time to care.

 everything gets better in time right?

i realized yesterday why i get so sad so easily. it all leads back to one thing..disapointment.
alot of times i guess my expectations are too high
and then when it doesnt happen i get really sad and then mad at that other person
but its not all thier fault because they dont know they are dissappointing me.
but i still get really emoish. its how i've always been.
family and friends seem to disaapoint the most
they always say things and then dont follow through or it never seem to happen
thats why i like to be alone
cause its harder for me to let myself down.